If your last birth left you feeling powerless, dismissed, or scared—you are not alone. Many women are still carrying the emotional weight of a traumatic birth experience throughout their next pregnancy. And while creating a birth plan when you’re still healing after birth trauma can bring up anxiety, it can also be an incredibly healing act—especially when you center your voice, your values, and your emotional safety.
Creating a trauma-informed birth plan isn’t just about checkboxes and preferences—it’s about reclaiming a sense of control in a medical system that too often takes it away.
There are many things in life, pregnancy, and birth that we cannot count on – but what you should be able to count on is being respected, heard, and safe.
What is Birth Trauma?
Birth trauma can be physical, emotional, or psychological. It might have involved:
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A lack of informed consent (example: someone did something to you or performed a medical act without explaining it and getting your consent beforehand)
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Feeling ignored or disrespected by medical staff
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Emergency interventions that left you shaken
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Fear for your baby’s or your own safety
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Or even just feeling like you weren’t heard
Your trauma is real—even if others don’t understand it. And it’s not your fault.
Birth trauma is often the result from a medical system that isn’t patient-centered, emotionally attuned, or responsive to individual needs. Or sometimes, it’s unfortunately very bad luck where that 1 in 1,000 chance of something going wrong happens to you. We may search for reasons as to why. Replay every event over and over again in your head. But, there’s nothing you could’ve done differently. And that doesn’t make the trauma disappear.
Perhaps you’re already doing the work to heal from your past experience. Or maybe, now that you’re pregnant again, you’re finding new memories and feelings pop up and are just starting to fully process everything. No matter where you are in your healing journey – you’re doing amazing. Taking any step to process and heal is a radical act of bravery. Give yourself much deserved credit for being here and even reading this blog post.
Why a Birth Plan Can Help You Heal After Birth Trauma
You might be wondering: Why would I create a plan when last time, nothing went to plan?
Here’s the truth: A birth plan isn’t about controlling the outcome—it’s about getting clear on what matters to you, and ensuring your support team understands and honors that. It’s a helpful tool that also ensures you’re informed about all of the potential possibilities and your options.
When you’re still healing from trauma, a birth plan can:
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Help you identify triggers and avoid retraumatization
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Clarify what emotional safety means for you
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Give you language to express boundaries and preferences
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Empower you to choose a care team that aligns with your values
Creating a birth plan, especially with the help of your doula or another professional, you can learn about any and all possibilities. So, if something unexpected does happen, you know exactly what it means and what your care team will do to make sure you and your baby are okay. Knowledge is power and can help lessen the fear of surprise, and the fear of the unknown when you’re still healing from birth trauma.
Steps to Create a Trauma-Informed Birth Plan
1. Reflect on Your Previous Birth Trauma
What felt traumatic? What would you want handled differently this time? Start by gently journaling or using a workbook that helps process your past experience.
This part can be difficult and may bring about emotional or physical reactions. You may need support while you create your birth plan from either a therapist, doula, pregnancy coach, birth partner, or care provider. If you’re gut reaction to the idea of creating your birth plan is panic, it’s important to create a safe environment for yourself with the right support people.
2. Identify What Makes You Feel Safe
Do you want dim lights? Fewer people in the room? More communication before procedures? Include emotional and environmental preferences in your plan.
What tone of voice do you need your care providers to use? Do you want to bring your favorite blanket or pillow to the hospital during labor? Or have encouraging videos from family, friends, current children, or even from yourself to help keep calm during hard moments saved on your phone? You can get creative. The most important thing is that you feel safe after experiencing past birth trauma.
3. Communicate Your Needs Clearly
A trauma-informed birth plan includes not just medical preferences—but emotional boundaries, consent practices, and ways your team can support you if you feel overwhelmed or triggered. What do you need? Be clear and firm in communicating to your birth team.
Remember – they work for you. You’re the boss of your body and baby.
4. Share It Early with Your Provider
Don’t wait until your third trimester. Use your plan now to open a dialogue: “This is what I need to feel safe. Is this something you support?”
If at any point (and I mean ANY, even during your 9th month or during labor) your care provider isn’t making you feel safe or supporting your emotional safety boundaries, find or ask for another doctor/midwife.
I learned too late that I could’ve asked for the other midwife on call. I wish I had known this was an option when the midwife assigned to me made me feel uncared for and unsafe during my labor. In the hospital, your nurses and patient advocacy representatives can be your biggest allies. Discuss this with your doula and birth partner, too. That way, should the decision ever arise that you want to switch providers, they know how to support you in this process.
5. Review It with Your Full Team
Your partner, doula, and any backup providers should be on the same page. Practice using your voice now, so it’s easier when it matters most.
Healing After Birth Trauma Is Possible—and Your Voice Matters
You can’t change your past birth, but by creating boundaries, a trauma-informed birth team, and communicating your needs this birth can be one where your needs, body, and voice are honored.
We cannot control everything that happens during labor. But we can have the knowledge necessary to make the right decisions for ourselves and build trust in our body and team.
You deserve a birth that’s not just safe—but one where you feel supported, empowered, and at peace with the decisions made.
🎁 Need help getting started?
Download my free trauma-informed birth plan & vision workbook to reflect, plan, and communicate your needs with clarity and confidence.
